Being Right About Difficult People
Difficult people all have one thing in common. They make your day more complicated. They take you away from your focus and impact your role at work and at home. Usually not for the better for all involved.
Mindtools, a 25-year-old one-stop hub filled with resources helps people to enjoy happy careers. What a coincidence! I show people how to be happier in their jobs. And Mindtools says I am right. The first line in their blog post:
“There are many types of annoying people,” says teamwork consultant Ilene Marcus in our latest Expert Voices episode. And she’s right, isn’t she? If we’re honest, we all know a large cast of characters who, in their own ways, rub us up completely the wrong way.
It is both a blessing and a curse to be right about difficult people.
The blessing is that I can see the situation. I know it’s not me. I can even feel empathy for whatever it is that makes them act that way. It’s not only fair but important to say we have all been the jerk at least one time (my count is slightly higher). I know it is not me. Technically speaking until it is me because I let it get to me. I react instead of plan my actions.
The blessing is, I have a go-to toolbox to respond, not react and get out of that situation with some grace and dignity.
The curse is that I feel their pain. I want to help. I really want to do a good job. And sometimes that just isn’t possible. I have to safeguard my zen, which ultimately defines my level of productivity. As a result, I can stay on track regardless of what other people throw at me.
As a leader, I have to make decisions about what is best for my team, and the organization as a whole. Simple but not always easy.
Here is the link to the article on the Mindtools website. It’s a quick read and nails down personalities we all have to deal with at work. And other places too.
Notice the difficult people in your life. Name their behaviors. Pick your tool. Don’t react, be ready with your next right action.